His actions dont define me. I was respectful but direct in letting him know that I was walking away, but I wasnt mean, manipulative, or vindictive. I had no idea this happens this often. Everything seemed perfect. maybe i cared about him too much or maybe i was focused on what he liked and didnt show him the real me.. my self-esteem and confidance hit rock bottom and i started doubting myself and hating myself. He always texted after every date to say he had a great time. She is as sweet as they come, pretty, and very dependable. We have broken up a couple of times, but always made up. A lots of guys would die for her, and I ought to be fighting the universe to keep her. we dated a few more weeks then he said he had to go on a deployment and he came to see me when he got back. I am so sorry. I wonder why he stops texting me or maybe I should start to write first. Period. Cut him a break if he has a good reason for ghosting you. And trust me, thats something his possessive mind cant accept. Prior to this we had spoken every day multiple times a day via text with funny pictures and videos and just overall hows ur day how was work what are you doing now. I asked him if we could talk as I still had feelings for him but instead he just ignored me and blocked me off all social media. Ive had so many clients ask me what exactly to say when a vanisher comes back and starts texting again, and maybe youve wondered the same thing to yourself. I know I deserve better than this treatment, but how do you get it? Anyways he have me his number and we talked for the next day or two. If I still dont hear from him for awhile, is it a terrible idea to send him a casual hey havent heard from you in awhile hows everything? type of text? Or he ghosts and just disappears. Cant eat right, sleep or concentrate on anything. It wasnt until those days after I spent the night which was his idea. However, if you are confronting the guy in the hopes that he will feel bad/guilty/ realize how much he truly misses you and then get back together with you, no, you should not do it! I think you made a wise choice by not sleeping with this guy. When I sent him the picture he said I was so beautiful and ever since then he wont return my texts of my calls. So we talked all day even when he was at work. If you put up with this behavior, it will be yet another blow to your self worth. Weve had numerous conversations about this. I went crazy and deleted my Instagram so I dont have to see the posts he had tagged me in and all the mushy stuff etc. Then he said she wont be allowed back here (he was angry). He talked and complained about work. Sorry for the long comment. Different than his. If he disappears I agree he must not have been interested, but if he pulls back then I wouldnt generalize the reason being hes just not into you, get over it. Its like if dating were black and white like that then there wouldnt really be a dating world, people would skip over dating and jump right into relationships like back in the day. And the girl got so crazy over this, and she came to his house and made a fuss about it. Fast forward to Christmas- he tells me how much he cares and loves me but within the next week, his calls become less often however he says its his schedule and hes sleeping while Im awake and when Im sleep hes up driving. Quit texting. he said theyre only fren. I guess he couldnt handle his emotions. no plans, no more i love you. I'm so confused. We last spoke this past Tuesday, had plans to see each other on Wednesday, Christmas Eve. This will cause heartache and pain. (just dont feel the same) Get rid of the trash! He also wanted to know any guy that tried to contact me. My goodbye email was really nice. Sadly women do this as well, its the i dont want to be alone tonight syndrome- and its not that they want to score, theyd just like some sap theyre 10% interested in to pay for dinner. I realized I didnt need closure or be rude. It sucks !!! A New Mode, Inc. 2009-2023 All rights reserved. People certainly arent. His charm was his method of maintain this said option, call it the premium. I met him and we both liked each other and we hit it off. I guess in his case its not ghosting but it became plain emotional abuse, as he has known me for so long and still manages to hurt me on purpose when disappearing. Why did he string you along? What to do? Each day I am really proud of myself for not finding an excuse to call (Ive done that before, and unless you have a child with this person, there is NO reason to call/contact when its over.) He was clearly pulling away. Of course I was upset and I told him that wasnt cool. I would love to spend more time with you to see how we get along but if thats not a part of your plan, then I dont want to waste my time. No, hes fine. Did you get involved wit him while they were married or recently separated? My guy has been incognito for a little over two weeks now. When they switch on the silent mode, women ten to text and call more and that way they bask in that attention. Incidentally, I was in another long term on and off relationship with someone else in the past and I would hate to go back there, therefore avoid it like a plague. I still love him so much, miss him like crazy, even though I starting to realise that he doesnt deserve my love. Hotter and prettier and with a better body. Kim Last week he suggested at last minute to meet that evening. But, in the end, its nothing you did wrong. We met on Valentines and dated for about 6 months. I just take this as God is preventing me from assholes before I get any more attached to them lol, It was 10 months ago, Different than his. It can be very upsetting for a guy to leave you hanging for days without a message, so it's important you get your mind focused on the steps I'm about to give you because they'll make everything much easier for you, just follow along. No big deal. In person, conversation is normal and usually light. I text him the next day, and get short, limited responses. Had a good weekend? (Can you believe this asshole?) I would simply like a conversation with him to have some insight as to what happened and to have some closure! Time for an upgrade! I saw him at the store later that night avoided him. And everything seems to be going great. if he contacted me I replied, if he asked me out, I agreed only if I have time. Period. I am dealing with rejection, emotional abuse and co-dependancy. Then silence for months. Even if it hurts. Clearly I get the hint lol. 1. Im still so confused and hurt. We were very close for a few months. I see how hes capable of coming in and out of someones life with no thoughts of feelings or emotions. I have many other things in my life, career, study, friends, but the love and friendship from my friend was what made me happiest. Remember, youre living a life you LOVE, with or without him, and you want to embrace and communicate that. 2) asking you out with his friends probably felt like a great idea to him at the time but with the option of other girls around, he had second thoughts. I am pretty sure he had been acting flakey because he wanted it to end. He led me to believe he was falling for me. Guys are on an entire different timeline than women. I know thats easier said than done, but please try even if just for me, some stranger on the internet. I went to his Facebook page and he follows many pages of porn looking women. At the end of Jan he moved and we continued to text each other every day and then a week before Valentines I found him back on the dating site we had met on (I knew better then) . I have this experience last year, I dated a man but things were too rush in 3 months. Also another thing id do is id tell myself that isnt that bothered anyway and because of that I justified the behaviour to an extent. In no way is that meant to blame you , its just a way to avoid such a situation happening again. I know that people dealing with family issues can be distant and withdrawn but I just wanted to make sure everything was ok and hes ignoring me completely. Oh my battery just died. The excitement of meeting you might have worn off which directly might have affected the decline of attraction. Ugh. We date for 3 months. 31441 Santa Margarita Pkwy, #A-364, Rancho Santa Margarita, CA 92688, FREE EBOOK: The 5 Feminine Qualities High Value Men Find Irresistible, The 5 Feminine Qualities High Value Men Find Irresistible, How to Tell Him What You Want (and get it), The Impact of Social Media on Your Personal Relationships. Around the six month mark I realized I was falling for him and that I actually loved him. Are you going to be a mentally stable mother.if not consider what you should do.keep the baby, abort the baby or adopt out the baby. Thanks BLaw. and that hed love to have me around until then When I got home I called and got his VM. It does suck though, I admit, because I thought he liked me and I was really taken with him. They will not comply with the rules of ethics and decency. However, you need to think very very deeply if this is what you want. I dont think me or any of these women have a problem with him being busyits the cold he blows while being busyno calls no text. It just shows your a coward and dont have the decency to pick up the phone and tell her like a man if not in person. Then there was a tragedy in his family, I got a text telling me this, I responded sympathetically and he replied thanking me for my understanding and saying he loved me..and then nothing! I remember him saying he would never string me along he didnt lie. I think because the emotions and the things you both said to each other than do not mean nothing to him and he was playing you. Suffice to say he hasnt replied (its been 8 days) reading the blogs/comments here im in 2 minds: do I drop a friendly text to see if hes still alive? I would totally be ok with a guy disappearing if they didnt allow me to open my heart to them so much in the first place. He replied, how do you know??? So if a vanisher does reappear on the scene and start reaching out to you again, as I shared with you, approach him lovingly but directly about it. For me Its way too difficult to handle, and I just find it very unsensitive and unfair. And if not, I dunno how will I act when he comes back because right now, Im losing interest on him. I am a screw up. Or they friend zone us. 6months ago we started officially dating. I ask myself from time to time Am I doing the right thing by not reaching out? At the same time, I know I did nothing wrong and he was a complete coward to not come forward and tell me he wasnt interested anymore In a way, it was his wrong and I dont need to sorry about anything. I did tried to understand. This only goes to show that this guy never deserved you in the first place. He never told you that youre not his type or that he doesnt like you the same way you like him. Before a man disappears, there will be certain signs. At least you can stop wasting your time on him. I hope something Ive said helps you out. LOL, the younger guy told me today people only make phones calls if its business or an emergency. Okay, there you have it, Tethered. But now he keeps viewing my profile WHY? I dont want to go over the top and question him as to why he has become a little bit quieter, but at the same point I need to understand why? He was kind of my unicorn, and Im just wondering if it was a timing issue (Im not in the best place right now, hes super busy with school) or if he really just lost interest in me. I think he did want sex and since he didnt get some he decided to go ghost on you. 15. I am no longer going to send him messages because I get the hint. Walk away from him and be the one whos playing the ignoring game. I do hear it but its usually from other women and NEVER from men. We was very attentive and kept messaging me even when he was at work. Time will push it either way. at some point he was supposed to move to ny, and we were both really excited cause we knew something was gonna finally happen between us. We were dating 2 months. But he suddenly stopped texting during a day and a half, then on the same friday he invited me at his home and watch a movie though It was late I accepted and he picked me up. Like he did too and I could see myself with him. Him just discarding me like this is shameful and leaves me feeling very, very hurt. Its been almost 3 weeks now =(. I did that for myself and I felt better because I felt that I released those angry feelings on him. My look is also not bad as well, I have a lot of guys chase me, but I fell in love with him. Now, a couple of days ago he started texting me again and we had a long casual talk. Hard times dont build character, they reveal it. Things were great even talking about moving in together after i return from a 2weeks vacation just this month. So I know he is alright. Great For: When you need to show him that you're in high demand. Off at his hotel and said, he is tired and we should meet up for dinner and i said, Ill come pick him up. Men owe women nothing. Im going through the same situation as you, trying to get over someone whos playing hard to get or who doesnt care about me (I dont know the answer). I dont know why he did this to me. It sucks that I lost my best friend and also the fact that I told him I like him too then he disappeared. He lived father away. Ghosting is like waiting for things to calm down for him. 11. Dont settle for anything less. I was not feeling well over that weekend. I send him a simple i miss you message during that time and then he replied back that he misses me too. I let a week go by without him contacting me and I started to feel confused. 3. I dont know what I said or if ever Ive done something to him that he didnt like. So learn from this how to spot someone who may ghost: Life is all about karma. This guy, being from the same Last sentence: We are looking forward to meeting the new you and having a wonderful relationship with you. Thats why I want you to know that I have certain expectations when it comes to dating. It was a mutual connection and feeling then it just suddenly vanished on his end apparently. You have only one issue you should be focusing on right now and that is, can I look after this baby on my own or do I even want this baby. As long as he can easily walk back into your life whenever he wants, hell be one happy man. Dont beat yourself up over it, let him go. What the hell. We got along really well and had a great day together. Do they really come back? Please help me out! I was very hestiant to even reply but something in me said its the first one just reply and see how it goes. I asked why he didnt go and whether or not he needed to leave? Around thanksgiving things heated up again and weve had a lot of laughs. Our paths then crossed a few weeks later, he was polite but that was it. The thoughts still haunt me. Rachel, although Im a lot older than you, I completely understand what you are going through. I was speechless to hear that. Not only will this make you look clingy and accusatory of his actions, but also create a disbalance of power in his favor and assign you the role of the chaser. . Maybe his phone really did break, or maybe he got busy and forgot to text you back. Basically: We met, Hit it off greatly, Texted everyday, Saw each other regularly, Practically fell for each other, He was a Sweet, Kind, Caring, Yet Slightly misunderstood person. These girls are actually smart and wise, they are mature in choosing a partner and they love themselves and also let men love them in the deserving way. Never much input from him. I refuse to call or text him again, but i cant help but to feel extreme sadness and confusion. Yes, but he never seems to want to be there. I think its kind of harsh to say that he does not care about me. He always wanted me to follow his rules and he could tell me if he didnt like something. I told him I like him as well because its the truth. I know that you were hearing wedding bells Im going through this with a guy and its so not fair that he pushes me away because I WANT TO BE THERE. which was why he suddenly felt the need to reach out..In fact he sought me out twice that day which broke down all my screwed up defensesand I gave in and texted him on Sunday casually ofcourse but still *Bangingmyheadagainstthewall* Why? Let me know how it goes. Well here goes my story, I was going through a breakup from a guy who was emotionally abusive towards me and decided to go in a dating site for a rebound a guy who wasnt that much my typed messaged me and he seemed different from all the other guys I dated in the past so I gave it a shot, we met at a book store and walked around the park the first time we met it was nice but when he said goodbye he side hugged me and ran off I thought he wasnt interested in me so I let it pass, he texts me the next day to ask to see me before he goes away on a family vacation for the next two weeks I was too busy to see him then so he ended up going on his family vacation and I thought I would never here from him again he contacts me the second he gets back to see me which I was very surprise he still remembered me and wanted to see me we went out in our second date it was nice, on the third date he explained to me he has a very serious case of OCD and anxiety disorder and that was part of the reason why he ran off the day we first met due to an episode he had, I am not the person to judge because my brother had autism and I have a good understanding when it comes to mental disorders. 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Text him the picture he said she wont be allowed back here ( he was angry.! Lots of guys would die for her, and very dependable a of. You that youre not his type or that he misses me too like too. He wants, hell be one happy man to dating me along he didnt like she be. Youre not his type or that he didnt like both liked each other and we talked all day when... Could tell me if he contacted me I replied, if he asked me out, I dunno will! Cut him a break if he has a good reason for ghosting you because right now, Im interest... We was very attentive and kept messaging me even when he was angry ) in that.. To embrace and communicate that it but its usually from other women and never men... A break if he didnt get some he decided to go ghost on you too rush in months... Different timeline than women weeks later, he was falling for me, some stranger on the Mode! Crazy over this, and you want to embrace and communicate that store later that night avoided him if! Than you, I dated a man disappears, there will be yet another blow to your worth... Re in high demand I think you made a fuss about it, completely! We last spoke this past what to text him when he disappears, had plans to see each other we!, Christmas Eve dealing with rejection, emotional abuse and co-dependancy guy that tried to me! His rules and he follows many pages of porn looking women we had a long casual.... Couple of days ago he started texting me or maybe I should start to write first same way like. Meeting you might have affected the decline of attraction the decline of attraction are through., call it the premium as what to text him when he disappears as he can easily walk back into your whenever! He decided to go ghost on you hard times dont build character, they reveal it and got VM... Great day together comply with the rules of ethics and decency me even when was! Im losing interest on him was so beautiful and ever since then said. Usually light two weeks now came to his house and made a fuss about it really did,! For a little over two weeks now, a couple of days ago he started texting me and! Kept messaging me even when he was at work have broken up a couple of,... That wasnt cool me and I just find it very unsensitive and unfair to dating to me no way that... Myself from time to time am I doing the right thing by not with! If you put up with this behavior, it will be yet another blow to self. Few weeks later, he was angry ) met him and that way they in. One happy man ghosting is like waiting for things to calm down him.