Whats cool is a man being willing to marry a woman he genuinely loves and connects with regardless of how she once was in the past. ! No, it was because you can just tell a person who has had a lot of sexual partners. If you are dating with marriage in mind, it is important to look for qualities that would make someone a good life partner. 1. Now I will excuse most of the ignorant post below as I can appreciate that most of the beliefs that you all have that enraged me are based in religion, the way you were socialized, or etc. And possessive so I stopped having sex with them. Id much rather be with a woman who has been with 10 people, 7 in the course of relationships vs. the girl who has only been with 8 people, but 5 of those were in a single night when she was gangbanged. Im female, but Im not emotional, insecure or needy. As you are starting to realize, it isnt worth holding over someones head, especially when it is the woman you love. If people would stop having children out of wed-lock this would alleviate some of these incidents. If someone girl or guy has cheated before they will probably do it again and that is not worth risking. Not sure if humor is the best way to express this maybe I should stop but at the same time not making jokes about it would be weird as that's kind of just how our personalities are. I did and am again. Exactly act like a slut then oh now i want a good man. Women who have had a high number of sexual partners usually have little respect for their bodies or their lives in general. Thank you very much. Yes, there is certainly a price I am paying: not seriously dating sluts. How many partners youve had should definitely speak for your character. That level of promiscuity speaks to a character defect. Whats the point of man or woman sleeping with so many partners??? I just dont think that is ever worth passing on a woman that may be the right woman for that man. Strength and confidence have nothing to do with it in my opinion. At the end of the day none of those could capture her heart as you have. What should matter is if she is STD free. So a young fertile woman was his best bet. I cant imagine the level of crazy one would have to be to think that not marrying the wrong person or before they know the implications of marriage is a bad thing, but hey, Im not you. The only difference will be in how you now choose to perceive her and how you handle that perceptionThis article isnt trying to say it is right or wrong, good or bad, or whatever when it comes to promiscuity. What I am saying is I dont feel it is best to allow that to overshadow everything else that is great about this woman and the fact that you believe she is best from you (aside from a possible past you arent too happy about). would want a man who thinks this way, otherwise, she is going to just end with upbringing etc. YOU yourself are ashamed of what you did. And those who see insults where there are none typically have multiple issues as well. And, if we try to claim that we haven't ..then, guess what? So when they say save yourself for the right one remember the word ONE u can say girl see whats out there see what u like live life but remember u are not only keeping apart of that person u sleep with in you, you are also exposing that person to your future kids and shaming your future spouses bloodline stop trying to justify being a hoe. If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. I've bumped into the men who've used her and they all have told friends that they were embarassed to sleep with her and treated her as joke. You could be killing yourselves with every partner you take. When looking for information about dating someone with this girls' attributes, try to change the language. Any person with an abnormally high or indiscriminate number of partners either values sex too micah (must have it, with whoevers around) or too little (sharing one of lifes most intimate moments with any ol body). Again, have you heard of Google? I do believe there are some women that simply enjoy sex, but I would by lying if I said i felt that the majority of women who are promiscuous are doing it simply because they love it. The idea behind waiting for marriage may have been feasible decades ago but that ideology is based in religion and if youre not a religious person what exactly are you waiting for? I understand how people may view that person, but that doesnt make it right. Also, having a high number of partners can cause him to have negative opinions of her. As far as cheating goes, even the most decent girl will cheat if a guy is attractive to her- given the time and place. How do you think He will respond to what you happen to think about Him and His lack of existence? was a bad (abusive) relationship. You say its not worth walking away from a woman you genuinely connect with. Maybe instead of looking up information about "dating a slut," look up information like "like a girl but she has slept with many other guys." I feel like my bf doesn't love me anymore and it scares me. Its an individual thing as to how they perceive themselves. Bianca, why in the world would you think the number of men you have slept with should not matter? What if they have lived within your value system for most of their lives, but had a couple of years that they were super wild for whatever reason? Depends on if the wear and tear is being done physically or mentally. She has been open about her past, but not completely, shes just gives all the ideal answers youd expect if someone didnt want to hurt your feelings. Disagreeing is a part of life and I completely understand people will not always agree with my perspective. Big problem with your logic: when we are choosing a mate to be with, we inherently judge whether that person is the best for us to be with. This is why men are actually attracted to more pure women. The emotional component I can build well in a live- in arrangement, before we finally settle down. I swear, idiots..youre just being selfish. One of the things you notice is that seperate from the incels and terpers is a demographic of dudes who could get casual sex or FWB's but don't want them. Months later she reveals that she many years ago she was promiscuous but since then has walked away from that approach to sex and shares the same values as you right now. That does not mean you have to agree with it. You have your opinions, and they are just that your opinion, and I have my opinion. He already feels guilty and deeply regrets disappointing you. There is much I could say as to the real reasons why many men, possibly such as yourself, cannot deal with a woman who may have once been promiscuous in her past. The point is that not every woman (far from it) has a past full of sluttiness. I understand your position, but I do not agree that it is the best approach. were. Ive been through it, luckily with no children involved, and Ive known others whove gone through. I agree I have learned it had more to do with how I was raised,I am a better person today. It Thats a nice, positive thought. You are also correct about women who men know have gotten around will have a much harder time finding a man, which is why most women lie and will take some of these secrets to their grave. So yes your number matters a lot I dont care what any man says it matters, it is in our genetic make up and in our most natural instincts to want someone that is not tainted by another man. It is not fair to either spouse to have to compete with previous whether perceived or real upgrades the previous partner had. You are right about the emotional attachment. Much more women than ever are sleeping around these days. No way either of us could get bored and look elsewhere!! If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I just dont think using her past to override who she is today is the best approach. I lost my virginity to a girl who had been with lots of guys before me. Today, the women are the same. Thanks for your input man I appreciate it, ErmdudeI don't think you are in the best place to be with anyone right now tbh. Yes having certain physical advantages helps but trust me there are men who are bigger and women still experienced a very lackluster sexual experience with them. Ive always been that way since I started having sex. 8. Most men can understand a mistake or two, and possibly some bad boyfriends. Maybe you think yes, but I say no, and I say that the actual number should not be the true focus in evaluating a potential partner. The point of this post is that I'm absolutely terrified of getting into a relationship with a slut (don't mean to be harsh but that is just what she is) despite liking this girl a lot. C) Two long-term sex partners, had sex a total of 100 times, and many were threesomes? Just saying that people have been held accountable for their past since the beginning of time. Sheila, the books you rever; Bible, Talmud, Quaran, where all written long before science and common sense were a regular commodity. While the next woman can be known around town and still have managed to not catch any STDs. I definitely would not marry a woman who has slept around a lot. Ive seen friends go through 4+ relationships in a year. In this life, moral responsibility will offer you far, far more than even being able to regain what you may have lost, even following reconciliation. A mess you gonna have these women out here single and lonely.. Lol hold up, I didnt write Why I go through his phone that was a guest blogger (OnlyOneHeaven.com) but I did write this article. I never went out to get laid. Obviously, the sexual freedom we Hey Mike. Well that is the same than saying that a woman who cheat should not confess of course if the husband does not find out they could live happy for ever but the problem come that it is living a lie in both cases if the husband would have know the truth about the person they are living with probably would have not chosen to live with this person and that is the weight that the cheating/laying woman have to take with her for her whole life nor to say the fear of being caught. Sex is purely pleasing, its not emotional for me. I seem to be shunned by women when after the 3rd date I still havent tried to get into her pants. What if she was sexually abused, and that contributed to an attitude that made her very carefree with her body. Its all we have. you have issues so you didnt have problems with your wife introducing you to her exs and flirting with them..?? So I am simply saying view them for who they are now, not who they once were. Get urself checked and keep ur pants on before u question her!!! Many women will not feel comfortable telling the real number because of the fear of being judged. Women call men dogs when they have slept with numerous women so why would you in turn do the same thing that you're condemning them for? and it goes on. I believe most men would prefer this. Would you marry a girl who slept around? Including that her family knows of this. So many women who have waited seem to not be as open minded. A man does not want to have to compete with previous Mr. Big. before automatically being a jerk and walking away. Aside from STDs, I don't see anything worth mentioning. 3 Risk Factors For Women Who Sleep Around Having Unattached Sex Facebook. No two people are the same and regardless of what you may think, you dont ever know EVERYTHING there is to know about anyone. Should the number of men she has slept with really help determine if a man should be with a specific woman? It would best be done in the To a guy it does matter. Personally I think it would be great for everybody to wait and not sleep around so much. You cannot truly understand or know a person until you know just about everything. People are simply not willing to marry unless the person they are marrying is compatible. I guess in the perfect society women and men would be equals, history aside. If i come up to you and say, hey wanna fuck ? I personally struggle with this issue my current girlfriend has had about 3 times more partners than me, shes had a few one-nights stands and a few friends with benefits. The man is going to think that the woman might not I have those same tendencies, but as a female. Communicate expectations! That is what this article is really about. It is amazing to see how in other Its all psychology. Im selfish as well, because I sleep around a lot. Yeah but we need to respect our bodies as men too. Women can sleep with men to get what they want and then dump them. I hold men and women to the same standard. They give birth. It is dishonest if the question has been asked, but have we not all lied about something in our lives. What can Im seeing this guy and hes super hesitant bc he doesnt know the exact # of people I have been with. That is one source, directly addressing the issue. ConsistentlyI foundand my friends agree, that these women with basketball numbersare the ones more likely todo littlemore flirting, and view thisas well asother innapropriate thingsas no big deal. I feel like I'm just in her head sometimes lmao. All statistics show that, you instinctual disgust by it is natural because only guys that avoided dirty women like that managed not to be cucked and got to reproduce, science just confirmed what we knew long ago 19 is so, so young. I mean, you dont really know what was going on in their life at that point either. Now if you ask her and she lies about the number, then your point is much more valid in my opinion. So there is a responsibility on both ends. Here's a revelation: people are entitled to their own judgments. Most lie, and it is because they are ashamed why would you be ashamed if you didnt think it was wrong? The whole premise of this article is misguided. On the other side, the woman may have fallen in love and had relationships of deep feeling for each of these partners. I, of course, agree that other factors contribute to failed marriage. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It is as simple as that. Its not likely to end up well (in terms of happiness and emotional satisfaction) for either the man or the woman. Problem is you cant take that back, youre just hoping they pop out the same number lol. And thats why marriage is on the decline and will go steadier She told me one instance where she went to a party and simply grabbed some random guy there and went into a room with him to have sex, and she was fully conscious not drunk. 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