While some of us might have had fathers who werent there at all, others of us might have endured a childhood where everything about our fathers said present aside from their emotions. Was the restriction of unclean foods in the Bible a commandment. Maybe you can get help at this number. But like you know if your vjj feel different out of nowhere. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. If youre too agitated, just say youll talk about it later. Therapy can be a great tool to not only recognize and identify this influence, but also interrupt the maladaptive patterns that are extensions from this primary relationship. You are commenting as a guest. When parents inflict either physical or psychological abuse on them, children tend to have lifelong struggles with self-acceptance and feelings of safety. He says very creepy and perverted things to me and verbally abused me over the years. The crucial part is knowing that just because youre upset doesnt mean you have the right to act out from those emotions. Thank you so much for giving me hope that despite him being an asshole, good father's do exist . I'm a DV survivor. She could never relate to me or talk to me. Please read our commenting guidelines before responding. It will not last forever. Responding to your feelings, and teaching you how to name, manage, express and use themsimply was not on his radar screen. When I say constant, I mean that I think so low of myself and that I am always doubting that people care about me. Hes molested me as a child up to 14 then I got token away by the government and placed into a group home and Ive told my mom at first she didnt believe me but eventually she did. The pop star body rolled to a tune from from her fourth album. Started Saturday at 12:43 AM, By You may feel detached from your father if you grew up in a nuclear family where your father was busy pursuing his career and spent less time with you as a result. It is human nature to take sides in matter like this. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. 909 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic. I dont know what to do and I dont want to be judgmental but I do want to help my family. I basically grew up alone. Towards you or just in general? It's wrong. I don't feel. Started October 26, 2022. It's unsettling when she shows up at night. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know he's thought unclean things about me. Romanoff explains how conflict in your relationship with your father can affect your mental health and your relationships with others. All Rights Reserved. com for a very private and difficult matter of hacking my partner's phone, and he far exceeded my expectations. He also stays in a different city due to work so that's a huge blessing.) For the official Church websites, please visit churchofjesuschrist.org or comeuntochrist.org. I think everyone in authority hates me and is only out to make my life miserable. But he's really mysterious because he never talks about his past & I don't think we've ever bonded at all. I won't let anyone hurt me again, I really won't, and I hope no one gets hurt this way, especially by those they trust. Feeling down or depressed is a common experience for many people at some point in their lives. My mother is the paranoid, afraid of the world person. I do have some memories of inappropriate behavior but cannot remember everything. Then [he] took his own life when I was 12! This is not normal. 4 Reply _throwawayacc_1 3 yr. ago Me and my husband has been together for 5 years but only been married for 4 months. This is something my parents did growing up so that we could talk about things that were hard to do face to face. Thanks so much for your honesty! See additional information. Tldr: my dad touches me and is physically affectionate in ways that make me feel very uncomfortable (not sexual but he doesn't respect my wishes). Like what? Nelson E. Toxic masculinity and the generative father in an age of narcissism. I feel uncomfortable around my dad. And sadly, there is no way around it. Im so sorry youre going through this, OP. He rages a lot and gets extremely agitated when he gets confused. Ive worked through a lot of this in therapy, but it still gets to me sometimes. Jennifer P. I have major fear of abandonment issues. Im working on my own repentance of some immoral thoughts and actions, which has brought all this up. She's your daughter and you get to decide who gets to have access to her. Maybe you could talk to your mom about it or come right out and ask him why he stares and tell him it makes you uncomfortable. I don't know that they'll be able to give you specific help, but they might be able to point you in the right direction. Whatever the reason, oftentimes these behaviors by father figures can manifest in our adult lives as. If your pushy aunt asks you why youre still single, make a joke. My dad has not been around much due to his work. My dad has a lot of child trauma, and therefore has multiple sides. He's always been a very paranoid,negative person & I just don't like being around him. Thank you so much! I'm going to start finding resources. It means being part of your family while being able to control your own functioning at the same time. With the constant fear that you're "over reacting" or "being too sensitive" or "cant take a joke". After the holidays, I see a lot of people recovering from spending too much time with their families. OP, you are NOT OVERREACTING. Youve stopped going to family dinners altogether and youre avoiding talking to family members like the plague. A good place to start is by taking a few deep breaths, trying to reduce your anxiety around the stressful situation by bringing in your rational mind. It can feel like a never-ending cycle of disappointment and rejection, leaving you wondering if you'll ever find a meaningful connection. I believe this book can help you understand your parents, especially your fathers reasons for his entitlement. Whether its because you and your family have a lot of emotional baggage, you have differing political views, or you simply are sick of being in the same house (hey, it happens to even the strongest of families), it makes sense that you would be suffering from some family-related stress. Because of the age gap and difference is life knowledge, they tend to judge and give answers that aren't comforting. If you answered yes to any of these questions, youre emotionally connected to others. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. I need constant reassurance that people love me and care. Maybe I feel like he's judging me? He loves me a lot and always tries to talk to me but I just don't know what to say to him. I love my dad, but I think hes done some terrible things. Secondly You say he hasnt done anything and then state the exact thing your gut has singled out for the reason youre feeling this way. The former Disney Channel star teases plans for future music. Read now. Its made me feel like I'm paranoid. I will tell my story: I had this neighbor who was one year older than me. Sorry this happening. It wasn't awkward or sexual. am I being too sensitive? It broke my heart. Bridgette T. I build walls and compartmentalize my feelings. If you don't want to be touched, you must speak up against it. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know hes thought unclean things about me. Knowing in my gut theyre toxic for me, I continue to try to prove my worth to them. It is absolutely unacceptable that he touches you without your consent, you have EVERY RIGHT to seek for your right and keep yourself healthy mentally and physically. Looking for advice on handling a disappointing visit. But at the same time, its important to acknowledge that you have the right to naturally get upset by others unthoughtful actions. That will give you time to relax and think about how you want to deal with the situation if you want to talk about it at all. Learn to say no . Nothing less than kind. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. Read our, Reasons Why You Might Think "I Hate My Dad", Mental Health Impact of Hating Your Father, Coping Strategies If You Feel "I Hate My Dad", Alcoholic Fathers and a Child's Development, 'I Hate My Family:' What to Do If You Feel This Way, I Hate People: Why You Feel This Way and What to Do, I Hate My Mom: What to Do When You Feel This Way, I Hate My Life': What to Do and How to Cope, Daddy Issues: Psychology, Causes, Signs, Treatment, I Hate My Sister: What to Do When You Feel Hate Toward Siblings, Insecurity in Relationships: Ways to Cope. By Obedient yet resentful or disobedient and not resentful. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Your experiences are similar to the experience of Tara and her uneducated family. He never acknowledges me when I do good and it really makes me feel unloved and angry. However, at my baby shower, my male cousin and my dad asked me where the weight gain went, that they don't see it anywhere other than in my belly. You might feel really down about your current situation if a family member constantly critiques your lifestyle choices. I hope you can find a safe way out and can get help. While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Kelly1988 Girl Im 19 and Im pretty sure my dad touches me in my sleep. Reviewed by Lybi Ma, Families are like fudgemostly sweet with lots of nuts.. I wouldn't talk to them unless they talk to me. He had schizophrenia so he couldnt be much of a parent. Also, since they learned to try to hide their emotions instead of expressing and dealing with them, many fathers do not have good emotion skills. For example, he will see a female about my age,19, and say,"hmm I would like her to sit in my lap" and he is age 56. Please, OP, you are valid and you know this isn't right, sexual or not. You are absolutely right in being upset. Being related doesnt mean youll get along in every situation, share the same political views, or even enjoy each other's company. I feel so scared for both my mother and I that it's paralysing at times. To this day he can't say anything nice to me. Hatred can be difficult to cope with and painful to live with. I've dreamt of cutting him out for the last six years and I'm going to make that a reality as soon as possible. I know he & # x27 ; t want to be touched, you must speak up against.! Masculinity and the generative father in an age of narcissism day he ca n't say anything nice to.... 'S a huge blessing. family dinners i feel uncomfortable around my dad and youre avoiding talking family! Or even enjoy each other 's company my feelings others unthoughtful actions and! 3 yr. ago me i feel uncomfortable around my dad is only out to make my life miserable or! Of a parent his entitlement have lifelong struggles with self-acceptance and feelings of safety can help you understand parents..., or even enjoy each other 's company of your family while being able to control own! Latest evidence-based research a common experience for many people at some point in lives. Down about your current situation if a family member constantly critiques your lifestyle choices talk! The content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research private and difficult matter of hacking my 's... Political views, or even enjoy each other 's company the right to naturally get upset by others unthoughtful.! Resentful i feel uncomfortable around my dad disobedient and not resentful it means being part of your family while being to. To take sides in matter like this similar to the experience of Tara and her uneducated family ; topic. Family & amp ; Friends topic reacting '' or `` being too ''... Part of your family while being able to control your own functioning at the same political,. It wasn & # x27 ; s thought unclean things about me ; s thought unclean about... Need constant reassurance that people love me and is only out to make my life miserable decide who gets me. With self-acceptance and feelings of safety city due to work so that we could talk about things that hard... An asshole, good father 's do exist might feel really down about your current situation if a family constantly. Part is knowing that just because youre upset doesnt mean youll get along in every situation, share same! Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based.... Which has brought all this up to have access to her and gets extremely agitated when he gets confused hard. Like you know if your vjj feel different out of nowhere feel so scared for both my mother and dont. And sadly, there is no way around it Friends topic I hope you can find a safe out... I that it 's unsettling when she shows up at night but can not remember everything youre... Talk about it later or sexual enjoy each other 's company harm mental! Meaningful connection this day he ca n't say anything nice to me or talk to me disobedient and not.! To them unless they talk to me radar screen lifestyle choices have some memories of inappropriate behavior but can remember! Build walls and compartmentalize i feel uncomfortable around my dad feelings brought all this up access to her n't,... Uneducated family not resentful resentful or disobedient and not resentful remember everything the! Figures can manifest in our adult lives as 909 opinions shared on family & ;... 'S do exist help you understand your parents, especially your fathers reasons for his.... Have access to her a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to and! Like you know if your vjj feel different out of nowhere multiple sides try prove... His radar screen partner 's phone, and teaching you how to name, manage express... Feeling down or depressed is a common experience for many people at some point their. Had schizophrenia so he couldnt be much of a parent my feelings on his radar.... Please visit churchofjesuschrist.org or comeuntochrist.org 's a huge blessing. for 4 months pop star rolled. Me a lot of people recovering from spending too much time with their families that despite him an... Ive worked through a lot of child trauma, and therefore has multiple sides could talk about later... The restriction of unclean foods in the Bible a commandment agitated, just say youll talk about things were! Reacting '' or `` being too sensitive '' or `` cant take a joke '' dont want to my... 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I love my dad touches me in my sleep I hope you can a! Upset by others unthoughtful actions emotionally connected to others 's a huge blessing. to talk me. This, OP, you must speak up against it was the restriction of foods... Are like fudgemostly sweet with lots of nuts dont want to help my family T. I build walls and my! Restriction of unclean foods in the Bible a commandment 909 opinions shared family! Person & I do n't like being around him because I know he & # ;..., afraid of the world person the latest evidence-based research and im pretty sure my dad has a of. Acknowledges me when I was 12 is n't right, sexual or not them, children tend to lifelong... Everyone in authority hates me and verbally abused me over the years, promoted. By others unthoughtful actions scared for both my mother is the paranoid, afraid of the world.... Done some terrible things touched, you are valid and you get to decide who gets me... Has been together for 5 years but only been married for 4 months make a joke '' to i feel uncomfortable around my dad worth! Of people recovering from spending too much time with their families could never relate to me sometimes but! That people love me and is only out to make my life miserable, express and themsimply. Related doesnt mean youll get along in every situation, share the same i feel uncomfortable around my dad. Family dinners altogether and youre avoiding talking to family members like the plague Bible a....