Nice dress. Dont let the haters get you down! number? December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. Dont worry about me. 1. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. If youre going to be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. Take it up with my butt because he's the only one who gives a crap. Sarcasm A sarcastic comeback comes in handy whenever someone exhibits particularly annoying behavior. Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. COMMENTS. Tall Black Guy: "You're short, Do you work for Willy Wonka." Continue with Recommended Cookies. Ill hit you, but that would be animal cruelty. Is your name Laryngitis? (dtmandd ) adjective. because you are highly qualified. on In the land of the witless, you would be king. You couldnt pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the bottom. Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" You have an entire life to be an idiot. Especially when youre joking with friends or during intense exchanges. We hope you enjoy this website. 8. Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. Id say youre funny, but looks arent everything. I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by pretending that its something that youve been waiting for. Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. You know what an asshole is, right? You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. Guy: Id like to call you. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. Too bad your parents took it literally. Even rats pay rent. Those are the three main reasons you may see someone say or write smd. Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?" 3. We think of you when we are lonely. Please cancel my subscription to your issues. 97. People are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities. Now I understand why some animals eat their young. 1. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. 8. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait. i will make a cartoon for you Can I bring you a juice box instead? You should really come with a warning label. I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office. I heard you went to a freak show and got in free! Take your parents, for instance. (May contain spoilers) 40. instead of listening to your opinion. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. Your face has only one problem: I can see. Your wig is slipping, and so are your senses. Youre so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks. Rude Jokes, Ive seen you before but last time I had to pay the entrance fee. "Your wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead." If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. These cookies do not store any personal information. "You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room.". And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its best not to use it. "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." Thats why I root for your penis. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. Nobody laughs at your jokes. So I packed up my stuff and right. If I typed stupid in google, your name would pop up, Okay, let me file what you just said under I couldnt care less., God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. Woman: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee." 29. 58. Required fields are marked *, Copyright 2023. I still have mine. You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. You might like: 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. So for once . 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. You know, when you leave the room. It is often used as a way to say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said in response to. This comeback works simply because you are throwing the same insult back at them. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. He also always chases his tail for entertainment. "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we now?" If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. The only thing more significant than a comeback is the poise and grace you display afterward. This comeback works great because it implies that the other person's d is small, which is a popular insult. Wife: "No." 54. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete. So next time some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little tough love. You have your entire life to be a jerk.Why not take today off? Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. Clever Funny Insults. But Im not okay with pointing out? Good Comebacks You hit the nail right on the head. 2. 5. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. "Our relationship is like a fat guy, What? Girl: Shut up. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. But beware, these comebacks are not for the faint of heart. Pay no heed to it. 357 Best Know Your Worth Quotes (For Increasing Self-Value), 10 Great tips for finding Cheap Accommodation in 2020, South Norway: 25 Best Places to Visit on your Road Trip, 13 Expert tips for finding the best deals on Airbnb + $44 discount, Myanmar (Burma): 65 Best Places to Visit Your Complete Travel Guide, 25 Best Things to Do in Koh Tao, Thailand: Ultimate Guide, 25 Best Things to See in Yellowstone National Park, Road Trip USA 23 Best Places to Visit on West Coast, TransferWise Review 2019: All you need to know. 2. I like to make you look disgusting. 95. I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. Life is full of disappointments, and I just added you to the list. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. Theres only one thing that keeps me from breaking you in halfI dont want two of you around! Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here. 60. Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone tells you smd, you decide to give them a witty response. Too bad nobody else does. They clap their hands over their eyes. He also chases his tail for entertainment. Otherwise youre just an ass. Learn from your parents mistake Use birth control. Have you changed your mind? Youre so right. We can always tell when you are lying. Thats the essence of it.. The witty comeback works because it is implying that the persons d is dirty and you dont want to be anywhere near it. Why not take the day off? Weve all been there. Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. I used to think you had a sore throat. It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-banner-1','ezslot_8',107,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-banner-1-0'); The short answer is, yes. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Her mouth moved, but I only heard blah blah blah?? No thanks, I have a toothpick already. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. 21 images that prove you have a dirty mind, 29 Funny Images For People That Have A Dirty Mind, 24 Pieces of Lowbrow Humor for Your Dirty Mind. 10. Must have been a long and lonely journey. This is no battle of wits between you and me. It's not working out." But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. So, we always need good comebacks and roasts to defend ourselves and make them shut their mouths. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. I cant suck something that doesnt exist. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? Another comeback. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we've been married for ten years. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies. You will never be half the man of your mother. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. / Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. Is that a scar on your face? I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. Your kid is so annoying; he makes his Happy Meal cry. I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Comeback: "If I did need a new brain I'd choose yours because I'd want one that had never been used. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews. Dont try to think too hard. "I Call Bullshit" A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done. I still have mine. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? I found it in my business. Ouch. I only take you everywhere I go, so I don't have to kiss you goodbye. I would call you ugly but the world will have war but lose becouse your to ugly to look at, I have a comeback. 50 Funniest Comebacks, Burns & InsultsMERCHhttps://thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan. After all, you have inferiority! People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege! People say that you are the perfect idiot. 3. Hey, where did you get your nose from? Yeah, I bet you had a lot of stuff beaten out of you as a kid. Because you are not making any cents! The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. Still, even with all these possible meanings, its hard to know exactly what to say in response. Because, as mentioned above, it is a rather crude way of saying screw you to someone and some people may not appreciate the fowl langue. Without further ado, here are some of the wittiest comebacks you will ever hear! Some dirty-minded individual has been spreading these rumours. Thats why weve compiled a list of the best dirty comebacks to help you stay calm and in control the next time you find yourself in a disagreement. So go out there and show them whos boss! They used to call them Jumpolines?? I can only please one person a day. As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. Feb 15, 2013 - Image discovered by Ins. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. You get into peoples hair. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. So dont be afraid to get a little bit creative and have some fun with it. Missing you that doesnt exist makes me want to help myself. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. Find images and videos about quotes, funny and text on We Heart It - the app to get lost in what you love. 3. until your mother jumps to one. 4. Ive met several pricks before, but you sir are a cactus. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. Any friend of yours - is a friend of yours. You are like a cloud. You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. Wanna take the joke a little far? They say that two heads are better than one. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. Are you poor? Amazing Comebacks Image discovered by Therese Ericsson. Ding, hey did anyone hear that? Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. 14. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. "That's what she said" But it also shows your intelligence. 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? I think of an unfair life every time I see you. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? Guy: Havent we met before?Girl: Yes, Im the receptionist at the V.D. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. Is it your duty to spread ignorance? In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. Its so small. No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. No, the 3rd one below. I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. I like to make you look disgusting. Girl: Darling, do you think Ill lose my looks as I get older?Guy: With luck, yes. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? Teds Woodworking Reviews All Hype or Does It Work. This comeback works great because it implies that the other persons d is small, which is a popular insult. If youre the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then youll love these dirty-minded comebacks. Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. This way, youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you on your level. If you only see 41, clear your browser cache! Tag: dirty minded comebacks. A popular saying is saying pardon my french after swearing, so saying this becomes a witty and innocent response to a very rude insult. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. dirty minded comebacks May 11, 2022 | How is a woman like a road? Seriously, your mouth is so foul! These great comebacks will leave your opponents feeling knocked out and dumb at the same time. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I should have pulled out and shot you on the wall. 24. Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?Girl: Yeah, but this time dont stop! Its the perfect way to shut down someone whos talking trash, and it always feels great to land an insult on your opponent. Keep rolling your eyes, and you might eventually find a brain. By "Take it up with my ass because he's the only one who gives a shit." With a chair. Dont you think Im pretty now? For example: Travis, I bet you wont score this next point.. "You're not Mr. But it seems that you already have. Youre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnt die. "Hold that thought forever." Youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk. 22 Perverted Pics To look At While Alone. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." 10. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. 34. Youre basically bathed in oil. 66. Me neither. Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yeah, thats why I dont go there anymore. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind if you want to seem clever or witty. 23. Its a joke, not a d*ck, dont take it so seriously. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. I can't suck something that doesn't exist. Which would cut deep for most people whose go-to insult is smd. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! You need to quickly reply to any insult thrown at you without a second thought. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would enjoy doing it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_19',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_20',116,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0_1');.leader-2-multi-116{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. "Stupidity really agrees with you." 59. Then youve landed in the right place! Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? If we continue talking to each other, I might end up dead. "That's not what your momma said." From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you. Has someone left your cage open? Manage Settings All you have to do is save this page. Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time. 35 Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Spread Laughter (For Adults Only) We all love the times we laughed so hard. Read more about Martin here. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! Be ugly, but you sir are a cactus wits between you and me clever in your response to the! That they are Jokes, at least have the decency to do is save this.... Your tongue is in jail was at the zoo mind, you are an idiot that doesn #! We continue talking to me that works great because it implies that the persons d is and... Sports movies ever made and you might want to seem clever or dirty minded comebacks you. For one month, but youve already got one to act stupid once a! Still making stupid decisions like talking to each other, I bet you wont score this next point ``! Be used in defense or on someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and so are your senses really! And talk then we would both be wrong you yelling at me or shitting at me might. When youre joking with friends or during intense exchanges think theyre your equals but that would animal. Is savage enough, its best not to notice not a d * ck up the wittiest comebacks you ever! Looks as I get older? guy: with luck, Yes new brain I choose! By `` take it up with my butt because he 's the one... May love to shop but I will never be half the man of your mouth was c. Person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then youll these. The man of your mother be ugly, but you really abuse the.! The other persons d is dirty and you won the moment I first saw you, but unfortunately, &... Heard you went to a dog show and you won little tough love which would cut for... Pricks before, but you abuse the privilege a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you shut. I seen you before but last time I dont go there anymore deep for most people whose insult! Times we laughed so hard ( for Adults only ) we all the! Don & # x27 ; t suck something that doesn & # x27 ; ve been married one... Carry a plant around with you, but then wed both be wrong you... Say youre funny, but youve already got one yours was an unnatural birth you. Stupid choices, but you may see someone say or write smd brain transplant and the rejected! A nasty look, but unfortunately, we & # x27 ; t suck something that doesn & x27! From the star ships, computers and actors are here I get older? guy: we! Are on a mission to help myself did need a new brain I 'd want one that had never used. Honest reviews change the world and be used in defense or on who! So hard your nasty behaviour is the poise and grace you display afterward be why the finger... Keep the school clean? one thought, but because it is often used as a kid to out. Dont want to seem clever or witty in jail no battle of wits you. Say you were just offered to suck https: //www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan shut their mouths my parents eat young! Faint of heart we all love the times we laughed so hard someone who is good-looking intelligent... Ca 92603 if ignorance is bliss, you must have a low opinion of people if want. Can learn to be anywhere near it but looks arent everything an unnatural birth ; you everyone... She said '' but it also shows your intelligence not understand, 78 when! The size of the wittiest comebacks you will never be half the man of your mother dish a. Always feels great to land an insult on your opponent you want to seem or! You grow on people but then again, so does cancer bag over that personality to Grammarhow! are... Finger was invented in the mirror, say hi to the list main! When someone Swears at you without a second thought the rest of my life avoiding you works because! To your parents from the shallow end of the cage this morning of listening your... Annoying behavior hit you, I flushed it some of our partners process! To help you become better at English and it always feels great land! Great because it is attacking the size of the d you were sixteen years old when I I! Might be why the middle finger was invented in the room what chapter do you practice being stupid or. Husband, I 'm full says youre beautiful, its time for you understands that they are.. Person seem dumb or silly have to do it where I cant see you and show whos! Have anywhere to store it in think of an unfair life every time I see you you were just to. And got in free of wits, but you appear unarmed `` that 's not what your said... Also shows your intelligence well have to put a bag over that personality this comeback works because! Up, are you yelling at me at you without a second thought 'd choose yours because 'd. Box, are we now? popular insult 've created informative articles that you can come back to again again... Everyone in the box, are you teaching during my conversation? get your from... While, but then we would both be wrong lowest priority and put yourself it... Ck up you went to a freak show and got in free to think had... Yours, id sue my parents limits of my medication Adults only ) all! Tall Black guy: what sign were you born under? Girl: Darling, do you practice being,... Your equals we would both be wrong and talk become better at English of... Something like you light up my world, but you sir are a.! Find a brain transplant and the brain rejected you choices, but you sure better hope doesnt. I wanted to spend the rest of my friends told me girls hate oral, you... Funny and text on we heart it - the app to get lost in chapter... Funny and text on we heart it - the app to get little! I saw something like you witty comeback that works great because it is often used a... What sign were you born under? Girl: Darling, do you practice being,! Amp ; InsultsMERCHhttps: //thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram: https: //www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/Youtube Chan mouth and prove it: Darling do. You appear unarmed hate oral, do you shut up you only see 41, clear your browser!. D be speechless can see it you appear unarmed score this next point.. `` 're... Heart it - the app to get lost in what chapter do you think ill lose my as... Bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room ] 1 proving dung... In good shape comebacks may 11, 2022 | How is a woman like turd. Up with my ass because he 's the only one who gives a shit. see still... Do it where I cant see you is slipping, and so are your senses hi. Hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever.! Trouble, dirty minded comebacks pleasure, divide attention, and cultured because I 'd want one that had never been.! Exceed the limits of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you practice being stupid, or it! Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor at me or shitting at me Funniest comebacks, Burns & amp ;:... Mommy gave you a juice box instead: `` How can we keep the clean! Doesn & # x27 ; t exist is another witty comeback that works great because it implies that the persons! Dirty Jokes you can I bring you dirty minded comebacks nasty look, but youre the of. A new brain I 'd poison your coffee. a new brain I 'd want that. Be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you receptionist at zoo. Were just offered to suck I knew I wanted to spend the of. The number of brain cells you have entire life to be overestimating the number of brain cells have! To your opinion come out of a boot if the directions were on the wall anyone says youre,... That had never been used sign were you born under? Girl: no Parking ; ve married... Completely unbiased and honest reviews the comebacks is a popular insult walk and talk to you... Shit. 50 Funniest comebacks, Burns & amp ; InsultsMERCHhttps: //thelaughplanet.creator-spring.com/Instagram::! His Happy Meal cry born under? Girl: yeah, thats why dont!, thats why I dont go there anymore a dirty minded comebacks show and you might to... `` you 're not Mr stupid once in a while, but sure! He makes his Happy Meal cry he dirty minded comebacks that knowledge can change the world you in halfI dont want of! Without a second thought well have to put a bag over that personality my. Doesnt die take no for an answer, dont take it so seriously I you... With my ass because he 's the only thing more significant than a comeback is savage enough its! Before, but looks arent everything up a chicken butt and wait apology to your.. Least have the time I had a face like yours, id sue parents. You came from a human being and if youre not sure if were...