I just badly like him and want to care of him. Still, surprises still pop up often enough to keep you on your toes. It is too immature an attitude for a 56 year old intelligent man. Hes an atheist, and slowly his mocking of God and Christianity began to affect my own believes. We are an older couple early 60s. I envisioned a life time ahead of feeling let down by this person. Any advice is well appreciated. Do you feel loved? So yeah after that we began talking and calling. We went on a trip. I dont want to give this up if there is an underlying issue that we can resolve, but I cant put my finger on it. Thats it. but he declined and even accused me as a selfish and demanding girlfriend. I really love him and he is my first. we havent dated for long (~3.5 months) so i could be overreacting, but at the same time, im tired of the lack of effort on his end. (this actually backfired) and caused huge tension and we nearly broke up several times, but when i tried to give him more space to understand his situation, my worst fears came true because we started talking less and less. A relationship is 50/50. Despite me working on being explicitly clear- he still hasnt been willing or able to meet my needs. Last Valentines Day, we got into a fight because I had put in all this effort to put together a special night and he literally didnt do a single thing. I give it some days to really think what I wanted to do and I decided I wanted to work it out so I talked to him and expressed how I felt and ask what made him want to do this. I would appreciate any advice! That way, I can assure two things. I do far too many things for him. I asked him where he skated since his bio mentioned he skated and then he said he knew me!! I feel weirdly trapped because I cant really break up with him given there isnt an actual relationship there, but Im in this loop where if I dont respond to HIM like an attentive girlfriend, he expresses this anxiety that gets my attachment system triggered. He expressed his anger in silence. We recently broke up with him due to the fact that, despite my efforts to express how I didnt feel like a priority, and him apologizing, him not making an effort to see me during the week (Works been crazy) and saying he would call me at night, but not, he did not change and I gave it 2 1/2 weeks. Sometimes when I try to kiss him he shoved me away. My first true love affair and I got completely ripped off or short changed. Hes always been so affectionate towards me, always wanted us to be happy so we got together. Unlike me, hes understanding and loyal (my family loves him) but his situation is really difficult but im getting tired of being the only one that tries to make this work by always initiating stuff. So that could also be taking up his time and mind. Actually they havnt shared any sexual pictures or that was not very sexual conversation. He still lives with his mum at almost 30. And that way, you will realize how worthy, unique and precious of a human being you are and genuinely feel that such a gem deserves much more than what you get from your boyfriend. he nvr plan for any dates, nvr rlly want to try anything new w me. It was great for a few months, but now the lock down is over (here in Europe) I feel like hes starting to make less effort again, prioritizing sports and friends again. He also doesnt seem as interested in what I have to say anymore. Even if I am not complaining he immediately jumps down my throat that something I am pointing out is a complaint. You, me, and probably thousands of other girls are in the same boat right now with the Coronavirus. I read this article today because today he laughed at me when I put on a dress that wasnt low cut or revels my chest. Let YOU be your super woman! We do have a son together and me and him both work and I get home cook and clean and take care of our son while he just gets home everyday and relaxes he has embarrassed me many times in front of his family and friends When we barely got together I asked him what he would rate me 1-10 and he said a 6 and that really broke me. What do I talk about with my girlfriend? You see, now when you decide to leave him, its not because you dont love him, but its because you love yourself and respect yourself far more than you love him. Whenever I go anywhere its just me and the kids! And he knows that Im on the edge of being homeless and I know theres not much he can do. If I were you Id take a break and keep your heart open for a new partner who is more compatible with you and whos needs match with yours, at least whos match a bit more than he does. Even sent follow up warnings and he still didnt do anything this Valentines Day. I know he is a shy guy, this isnt personal to me hes like it with his friends and they have shared this with me. I love drinking with him and having a laugh but he doesnt seem to feel the same. He is separated with 4 kids and a selfish demanding ex wife who took everything she could from him while they were together. You are strong. We do not even live together and he puts no effort, and I think throughout the years it would get worse if we get married, or live together. He doesnt do laundry, dishes, cook or clean. I always want to do cute things for him but almost stop and second guess myself because I question why I should if he doesnt do that for me, and more importantly, WHY doesnt he want to? Recently life has been on the up and positive but I feel our relationship hasnt grown or been a focus. The main problem in our relationship is one: I go out of my way for him all the time and apparently that is ok. It seems ridiculous, but overachievers will develop workaholic habits and then feel guilty for doing something that they enjoy that isnt more work. the hard part is we have a very deep connection, we understand eachother, and have the best friendship any partner could have I have recently told him on a few occasions how unhappy I have become. We girls if determined, are so much more stronger than guys Angela. He broke up with me because I was becoming emotionally unavailable and I always cried when I was with him. Fear of commitment/fear of pain (especially if engaging with you triggers those emotions that remind him of a past failed relationship). From what i have learned about him, I know he is someone who does not really know what dating is. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and will be 4 years this August. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year, but we have known each other for 10 years. HE SAYS IT ISNT A BIG DEAL. Am I expecting too much from him? He will want to know why youve stopped texting and he will be determined to get your attention. But I feel like its a symptom of that reoccuring issue of ours where he just doesnt put effort in to connect. Made me feel so bad. Once I asked him for a selfie and he said no because he thought I only did it to prove something to people. I am clearly the one putting any effort into the relationship where I think I have just made it too easy for him. We were together 8 months. Try to change. Say you have a date tomorrow night. That being said, Ive grown up a lot in during our relationship which is my first and it means a lot to me and i will definitely regret our breakup. Hes making a shit ton of money now and its (seems to be) working out well so Id have thought his aside, mood, all that Stress effecting his energy and sex drive .. Would have gotten better. He tries to make me think Im crazy when I talk him about it. We both have good jobs and have a beautiful life together. We still work on a project together so its not like I can just cut contact entirely, which I figured might be the reason why he is continuing to text, like he doesnt want things to get uncomfortable between us. I am the first gf my bf ever had and theres only so much I can pin on that reason. We have an 18 year age gap. I got so angry and disappointed after that. He commented on Tues night wed do it the next night so I was completely excited and ready to go at then finally at bedtime he laid there with his eyes closed and when I put the moves on him he told me its time for sleep, that we are just cuddling. I tried to be understanding and not ask for a lot but it just got worse. Now, what do I *do*? I understand law school is a rigorous program but for some reason he has been unhappy and stressed about everything that is going on in his life. He makes comments like some of us work for a living which is one of his huge baggage in life- the fact that hes a greedy mother $#_&@ and chose to be a workaholic and have no life even in his 20s so he expects everyone else to do the same. He asked if I wanted help learning and I said a big yes. Im not sure what to think or do. So he does nothing. Were both in high school now. We would stay up all night calling for hours, thats how we learned the most about each other. I dont know what to do anymore. The key is to not give them the key to our happiness. with me very quickly after meeting me. So, I hate to call him my boyfriend because he is late 50s and I am 47. Again, thank you Sumiah and to the other ladies in this blog who support each other. Don't be antagonistic towards him, but make him realize how much you Niw he say he is not happy, he ask if u cannot forget that incident how we continue this relationship, he say i dont know how tontalk with him, donot respect him, and now he does not make any efforts to fix our dying relationship. Hes really bad at texting and sometimes we dont really talk on the phone cause he said he was tired. Leave some of his messages on read. When i pull back abit, i notice it is when he makes an effort. Someone needs to get off if it cant be discussed and decisions made together to improve what doesnt work for one or the other. It was too good to be true and had a feeling I couldnt get lucky enough to be like other woman who found someone who loves and appreciates them, happy relationship, etc. Tell yourself its not the end of the world and you will be just fine with or without him. Here are 5 reasons he stopped texting you: 1. After that I had to go home cause it was starting to get dark. He has way more money than me and said he didnt do anything because he was angry at me. Also, find some time to do something that you enjoy. I really dont know what how to go about it. He never makes an effort to pick me up or come over my house. Let me know your thoughts! I try to sit and talk about things and he rejects or belittles my input. Like, Ive planned 90% of our dates. I think I should do alot of listening when we get back to talk again. My boyfriend is exactly the same and Ive been relating so much to what youve said in your post! He had had so much time to think about and plan for any of the above and a week before our anniversary had started lamenting how the holidays are too close together and it is hard to think of any good gifts, so he did nothing. The last time I told him about him not making me a priority, he said felt he wasnt good enough for me. He said he loved me but that he was not happy with me and that it has been a long time since he began feeling this way. Theres always a chance that this will trigger self-reflection, and he will crawl back, and you can decide whether to give a second chance. Theres also a clear risk that hell, again, show you exactly how much he cares about you by not fighting for you. Yep. We continue dating but not once did he ever bring up talking about all that he mentioned. I just wish he would care more. Im pretty sure hell tell me I cant really go because its just an alumni weekend. I know this is an old post, but I want to acknowledge your feelings. I was still jus tholding it together because at least I have my boyfriend who will care for me for once instead of me constantly caring for others needs! In Feb it will be our 6 year anniversary. By lack of effort I mean that its almost like pulling teeth to get him to plan weeks ahead to figure out when we will be able to see eachother. The first two years of the relationship he was wonderful. This helps me to decide that I cant wear rose colored glasses with my current relationship .thanks for helping me see what I have to remove from my life . I allowed his lack of effort to continue for far too long. Either way I have decided to just sit back and live my life. It's easy for people to say, "It's Maybe he always expects you to be waiting for him, ready to do whatever he wants. We just never did anything like that alone. He Wants You To Approach Him First. Im Im confused and at this point I almost miss being just friends because then he would try harder. He wanted to hang out everyday which at first I though was strange but I started to so after while it was weird for both of us to not be around each other every day. My friend found someone perfect really quickly on Tinder 3 years ago, and they just got married in November. I could have written that. He has been better now and takes time to analyze his intention before he says more. Towards the end of September things exploded. Hi im kushi, 25yrs old.. My boyfriend and I have been in our relationship for 3yrs now.. He almost kind of agrees to get it over with but nothing changes. We havent been fighting everyday. Often the dog doesnt get walked for a few hours in the morning because I have to get myself and the kids ready before I can take the dog out when really he could just get up and do it.He never wants to come on walks with us. We met online and in a long distance relationship and we have not met in person. Now he wont go anywhere with me he wont touch me in front of anyone we dont do anything and he refuses to do anything fun the only thing we do is work he dont go to the kids is events or anything but it is X need something hell drop everything And do it. He never plans to visit me unless I ask him when hes coming, like he doesnt do anything unless I nag him, and I dont want to be a nagging person so I thought its best we go separate ways and see if we can work it out. He has made me grow in ways Ive never imagined. He is in law school, I am getting my masters, and we also partake in a long distance relationship. He is trying to save the world on his own. I think him doing that even though you have said you arent okay with it is extremely disrespectful and shows he doesnt care about your feelings. I always yearn for good morning texts, prioritize seeing me during his off days and checking in during the day. I mentallyI dont understand the action itself . I simply did it because I knew I wasnt perfect and I wanted to become the women I needed to be for him. We just dont talk the same way that we used to. I mentioned it many times, cant wait to get home and eat what youve made & have dinner with you! My boyfriend of three years got me a card. And silly me, I was waiting for his reply all night.I know hes got alot to deal with rn and all Im asking for is a time-to-time update so I can be at peace.Is that too much to ask for? I dont know what he wants from me. Maybe he no longer loves you the way he used to. And i couldnt forget it. i simply dont understand this. ? Like WTF is your goal, here, exactly? I dont expect a perfect relationship but I guess he does. And acts like a concerned boyfriend if I dont immediately respond. For within us we can make changes we want the rest will come. The sex? Mildly work related topics but no reason for the call other than chat and vent. He always said that its his first relationship and he doesnt know how to behave like a boyfriend. This makes me feel like he just needs me to help him with work. Honestly if youve tried messaging him and he isnt responding I would just stop. 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